Picture it: You’re in line at the grocery store. There’s one person in front of you with a cart full of everything, meanwhile you’ve got two items and zero patience. Let’s say it’s a really long line and the cashier (bless them) is chatty. Maybe you also have to pee and you didn’t feed the meter.
Point is: The stakes are high.
Suddenly the angel from check stand #3 looks at you (and everyone else in your line) and announces that they’re opening their register. What do you do?
The old me would have waited patiently, looking around to see if anyone else would take the opportunity first — knowing it was a free market, but that I was “supposed” to wait my turn. To let anyone and everyone jump at the chance to move forward, while I what? Wait.
Me now? Nah. F*ck it. I got other things to do. Unapologetically. I have done all the waiting I’m going to do when it comes to myself and my peace…and my potatoes… or that weird but delicious grocery store sushi — if the green light is given, I’m going.
THAT is what it feels like to choose myself. Is it always easy? No, never. AND it also gets easier the more I do it.
In my experience, the world and society and family and people and, and, and have taught me that I was supposed to wait and allow myself to “be picked;” that “they” would pick me if I proved myself “worthy”. There’s a lot of quotes in that sentence because I wanna make sure I capture the sarcasm in the bulls*t. I was born worthy, so why not be picked, inherently? What is there to prove?
The short answer is: I don’t know, but I now no longer care. Why? Because I recognize my own power and the power that I have, historically, given away. The time wasted waiting on phone calls that were promised but never came, or scheduled meetings that didn’t happen, or people with big “gatekeeping” energy — knowing full well that I could DO the thing myself, BE the thing myself – because I was already “the thing,” MYSELF.
But then the shadow voice says “such and such is the expert…” And before you know it, you’ve given your power away. Again. It can be a slippery slope – waiting to be seen, to be validated — just do it yourself. At a certain point in time, I got tired. I had to jump in and believe, or live in the speculation of what could have happened.
NO ONE is the expert in you, but you. I realize that now. This is some real Field of Dreams, “if-you-build-it-they-will-come” kinda energy. It’s scary and it’s fantastic — it also feels easier, sometimes, to wait for someone to tell you what to do. Especially when you’re building with limited resources – you are literally learning/building/executing every part of the job whether you want to or not.
So hey there, little dreamer — build on. Take your opportunities.
… and if you grow tired of waiting in line and Sandy from checkout (with the cart full of toilet paper) gets mad, you throw up a peace sign and keep it pushing. You were not born for her convenience. Unless you’ve cleared your schedule to be on line at Ralph’s all afternoon, she’s got nothing to do with your day.
On that note: Have you…
Seen the first episode of my HeyCloie.com show,
Subscribed to my YouTube channel,
Pre-saved your copy of my new single Guess I Could Cry (out Jan. 20) yet?
Don’t worry. I’ll wait. *cue Jeopardy music*
Click HERE to pre-save Guess I Could Cry on Spotify
Every part of this enterprise is me building my own empire in real-time; turning myself into my own superhero – in real time. Showing up as the person I needed most coming up. Picking myself.
I wanted my own TV show. I wanted a container big enough to hold everything that I have to offer. Gifts that are goddess-given and also highly cultivated. Why be small now? I have things I’m dying to share — HeyCloie.com is just that for me. My way to share. Is it exactly what I pictured in my daydreams and fantasies? Not necessarily, and I kinda love that. To show up, every day, and to pick myself after years of just…not. It’s liberating. I don’t care what it looks like, I care how it feels…and it FEELS awesome.
I have to pick myself because I believe in myself. And I can no longer wait for the world to catch up. Turns out I don’t have to. Neither do you.
Thanks for hanging with me!
xo – Cloie
Click HERE to buy me a coffee
How are you picking yourself? Lmk in the comments!